Why aren't you a Trump supporter?
Last Updated: 16.06.2025 01:39

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened
I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”
I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions
Is it legal for an employer to ask why you are taking time off from work?
Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:
I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”
I have complete contempt for traitorism
I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane
I see through liars
I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write
Should parents force their kids to go to school when they are sick?
When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP
I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light
I actually pay taxes
I can read
I understand how hurricane paths work
authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday
What have you learned from your parents' mistakes?
I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”
I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”
I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”
What are LGBT+ people tired of hearing?
I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes
A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y
Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?
Why aren't F1 cars popular on the street?
I have complete contempt for fakery
I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t
I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is
I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight
I took the same Oath and took it seriously
I don’t cotton to rapists
When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability
I have an acute aversion to scumbags
I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP
Do you suck dicks with no reciprocation?
It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter
I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”
Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.
I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”
I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity
I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t
How can I easily get rid of my writers block?
If someone works for me, I actually pay them
It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms
EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that
Do flat Earthers really exist? Why do they believe the Earth is flat?
I can count
I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet
I don’t buy bullshit
I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard
I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones
I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink
I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.
I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup
I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”
I don’t watch or listen to advertising
I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center
I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”
I have a reading level above third grade
I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”
I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality
I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes
I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t
I know who the president of Turkey really is
I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee